Preface

Embers of Hope
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/34099411.

Rating:
Explicit
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
山河令 | Word of Honor (TV 2021)
Relationship:
Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu
Character:
Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing
Additional Tags:
Established Relationship, Porn with Feelings, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, in the past not between them, Heavy Angst, Terminal Illnesses, Banter, Gentleness, Hurt/Comfort, Top Wen Kexing/Bottom Zhou Zishu, Bottom Wen Kexing/Top Zhou Zishu, Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, set in the middle of episode 34 before the wedding because i like to torture myself
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2021-09-26 Words: 5,584 Chapters: 1/1

Embers of Hope

Summary

I had my first wedding night after being rescued from The Window of Heaven and will have my second one in Ghost Valley.

The two wedding nights of Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing.

Notes

Please mind the tags. The "implied/referenced Rape/Non-con" thing is very swiftly dealt with. The "heavy angst" tag is there for a reason. Poor ZZS is almost choking on it, the poor guy.

This was supposed to be simple first time scene between them. Things... escalated. Rather spectacularly, I fear.

Embers of Hope

"Is this to be our wedding night then?" Zhou Zishu asked, trying to keep his joy off from his voice and out his face. He didn't want to appear too eager, after all.

Judging by the way Wen Kexing looked at him he'd failed miserably.

His body should ache so much more than it should but his shoulders were only throbbing dully. A bad sign, he knew, but it couldn't be changed now. By now his body was in such a bad shape that there wouldn't be much healing of his injuries before the end. However, the almost-absence of pain made it easier to focus on the pleasure as his soulmate's beautiful and expert hands danced over his body and even managed to bring him towards a half-hard state.

That he could still experience pleasure from being touched was an unexpected but very treasured gift from heaven.

Touches, compliments, praise after praise heaped upon him, making him laugh and squirm in vague discomfort in equal measure - this night was far more than he had expected, honestly, but Wen Kexing was determined to make this as satisfying as possible for him.

They both needed the physical connection of sex after having been separated and thanks to Zhou Zishu's state there was no question about who would take which position.

They had almost waited for too long. It was too soon, not even two days after Wen Kexing had rescued him and with his health being what it was, but time was slipping through their fingers and they wanted - needed - to be inside of each other now.

"When you're well again we'll have a second one," Wen Kexing promised as he put all of his considerable skill and experience in the bedroom to work to coax the maximum amount of pleasure from Zhou Zishu's failing body. "Tonight I'll take you and next time it will be my turn."

Wishful thinking? Maybe. Probably. But Wen Kexing had managed to do the impossible - he had rekindled the flame of hope inside of Zhou Zishu and had more or less carefully tended to it until it was a fire again, bringing his will to live back with it as well.

Wen Kexing looked up from his ministrations and smiled at Zhou Zishu, full of love and hope at the prospect of a future together. He was more than beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking. Ethereal.

It was so easy to smile back and let the flame become just a little bit brighter still as Wen Kexing entered him and showed him that there was still pleasure to be had; that his life was still worth living.

That he was loved, truly and completely.


"Let this be our second wedding night."

It cost Zhou Zishu all of his hard-earned composure not burst out laughing when Wen Kexing almost tripped over himself in his haste to turn around from the mirror where he'd been busy combing out his hair. Zhou Zishu longed to take over the duty but now was not the time. His own hair was already up and out of the way, the wedding gift he'd received after their first one put into the bun, in preparation of the things to come.

There was no more time for anything, hence his sudden proposal.

Wen Kexing's outer robes were already a discarded heap of fabric on the ground. Perfect.

"I've seen more graceful movements from you, Lao Wen," he commented, letting a smile through. "If I'd known it was so easy to fluster you…" he trailed off and hoped that his expression conveyed the rest of his meaning. He was not nearly as shameless in articulating his wants as Wen Kexing, after all, and it had taken almost all of his courage to say the words.

But… they needed to be said. Zhou Zishu wanted and time was running out. Tomorrow would be Gu Xiang's and Cao Weining's wedding where they had to play hosts together, and afterwards… he had now idea in what shape he would be.

Inexorably slipping towards death, yes, but already bedridden and in need of care, or still able to laugh and dance, to try to give his soulmate a few more nice memories to tide him over until he had settled his affairs? Right now at this very moment he was feeling great; almost healthy, with no pain and full of energy. He wouldn't be able to fulfill his promise to accompany Wen Kexing to the death place of his parents but he was selfish enough that he didn't want to leave this life without having his soulmate at least once.

I had my first wedding night after being rescued from The Window of Heaven and will have my second one in Ghost Valley. The thought had only a slightly hysterical edge to it. It was fitting, he had to admit, but sometimes he wished fate could be a little less vicious in its designs.

"A-Xu." Wen Kexing whisper could barely be heard. He shook his head as if he could shake his confusion away. "What gives me the honor of such a sudden proposal?" he asked, quickly catching up to the fact that Zhou Zishu wasn't teasing him. His smile was genuine but still wary.

Zhou Zishu couldn't blame him. Since he couldn't deliver an explanation that wouldn't freak Wen Kexing out - and ruin everything along the way - he simply shrugged and took the two steps necessary to get right into Wen Kexing's personal space. He smiled when Wen Kexing simply stayed seated, eyes still narrowed in suspicion.

"Tomorrow is their big day, let this be our night." He reached out and offered his hand.

Wen Kexing's looked still skeptical as he slowly put his right hand into the offered one. No hesitation in accepting his touch, but all the doubt in the world concerning his motives. Oh, how well his Lao Wen knew him.

"When you say second wedding night," he began but Zhou Zishu shut him up with a kiss. The intimate aspect of their relationship was still rather new, it had only fully bloomed after Wen Kexing had rescued him from torture and certain even-sooner-death, and by that time Zhou Zishu's dying body had barely been able to keep up with the demands of his mind.

"Let's just say your shameless ways are enough to tempt," a corpse, he barely caught himself saying. No, no, that was too bleak, even for him, and didn't fit his plans for tonight at all, "a ghost," he finished rather lamely.

Wen Kexing's betrayed look said it all and Zhou Zishu cursed himself. He was awful at this. Words had always been Wen Kexing's domain, deeds were his. So he took the hand he was still holding and pressed it against his hardness. He wasn't quite hard enough yet but he would be, he knew.

The startled look he got in return made him laugh. "You're just that desirable, Lao Wen," he murmured. He truly was. "Let us have this. Please."

Wen Kexing's look became more somber as he realized that now might be the only time Zhou Zishu's body would allow them this, at least until the medical intervention he still believed in. While they had taken their pleasure in each other so far Zhou Zishu's body hadn't managed to get it up enough for actual intercourse; so their new sex life had been one-sided in that regard so far.

Ripping out the nails had been a stupid but necessary thing to do but at least it would them give this.

"A-Xu." Oh, how he loved it when his name was said in a haze of arousal. "I've always wanted…"

Zhou Zishu shut him up with another kiss. "I know," he laughed, "you've been kind of obvious about that, you stupid brat. You've been offering yourself up in every possible way since the day we've met." His laugh vanished as another, far darker, thought surfaced. One he'd shoved away over and over again. Regrettably, he couldn't push it away this time.

He took a deep breath and put one hand on Wen Kexing's right shoulder and cradled the left side of his face with the other. "How?" he asked simply.

A moment of confusion but a heartbeat later Wen Kexing wanted to jerk away from his gentle hold. Zhou Zishu didn't allow him. Sometimes you had to hurt the ones you loved to keep them from even deeper pain. He'd seen the signs too often before, had experienced Wen Kexing's incredible skills more than once since their first night together. His Lao Wen was far better at this game than any whore or courtesan he'd ever been with, let alone the handful of men he'd shared his body with.

Skills like that came from training. Training could be pleasurable, but was seldom voluntary.

The way Wen Kexing knew exactly where and how to touch and prepare him to not cause even minimal discomfort, let alone pain, told another, even more horrifying tale. One he hadn't allowed himself to ponder in too much detail until now.

"A-Xu," Wen Kexing tried to shake the question off with a laugh but it came out high and nervous. Not the kind of mood Zhou Zishu wanted him to be in but this was necessary. This would be the only time he'd get to fuck his soulmate, he needed to do this right.

"Don't lie," he warned and tightened his hold just a bit. "Or this won't get any further."

He wanted to know all the names of all the people who had hurt his soulmate in that way so that he could go and dig up their graves to kill them all over again but that wasn't what they both needed right now.

"Zhou Zishu," Wen Kexing tried but fell silent when two fingers sealed his lips. His eyes were wet but he still was beautiful, even torn open like that. To have to do this when all he wanted was to make his Lao Wen feel good... the physical pain might be as good as gone but that only made the agony in his soul so much harder to bear.

"Shh," he tried to soothe both of them. "It's okay. I just need to know…" He couldn't finish the sentence and could feel himself tear up as well. He was used to being cruel but for the cruelty to meant as a mercy? That was new experience and he hated it.

Wen Kexing kissed his fingers and moved his head back just a fraction. Still seated he looked up at Zhou Zishu and took a deep breath.

"On my back," he said hollowly but clearly. "I need to see your face." He closed his eyes but refused to lower his head. "It's been a long time since I've allowed anyone to fuck me."

More than eight years, Zhou Zishu guessed, and 'allowed' might not be the right word. The answer wasn't a surprise, he'd expected it, really, but it made hiding the fact that the nails were gone so much harder.

Be gentle and patient with me, Wen Kexing all but begged him in the way he held his body.

He could do that. His cock was hard but his body was also slow to respond these days. He could take all the time they needed to prepare Wen Kexing's body, open him up with fingers and oil, to make sure he was as relaxed and ready as he could.

He smiled through the veil of his tears. "I will be gentle," he promised. He couldn't make the pain of the past go away but he could give his Lao Wen the most exquisite, pleasurable night of his life.

Wen Kexing opened his eyes and smiled back. It was fragile but there was also lust in his gaze. "Of course you will be," he murmured, more to himself than Zhou Zishu. "You'd never hurt this wife of yours in that way."

Now it was Zhou Zishu's turn to close his eyes to hide his feelings. Not in this way, not ever, but soon he would inflict the final blow.

Don't think about it, he admonished himself. This is not the time.

It always came back to time, didn't it?

He nodded and tried on a smile. It almost fit. "I would be a bad husband if I did," he said. "Now turn around and let me finish this for you."

He could take the time for this. Finish brushing out Wen Kexing's hair, braid it to keep it out of the way, help him out of his robes, arrange him on the bed, make sure that he was well supported and able to stay in one position for a long time…

… he would make sure that this was the best night of Wen Kexing's life.

When the idea for this insanity had appeared fully formed in his mind there had been no question of how. He'd had to do this, no matter how many obstacles were between him and his goal.

Make him feel good. Give him nice memories, was the new driving force between his actions.

He knew that it would everything harder, in the end, for both of them, but he didn't care. Pleasure and harmless indulgences had been a rare thing in both of their lives and he was determined to have one last good night before it was over.

Wen Kexing smiled up at him again, already almost settled back down again into his usual confident bearing thanks to long experience in keeping himself under control, and moved back to face the mirror.

Zhou Zishu had relied on that to get the topic out of the way and back on a much more pleasurable path.

"Am I a pretty bride?" he asked lightly, as he watched Zhou Zishu quickly and efficiently pull the mass of hair together into a braid. He sighed in pleasure as Zhou Zishu used the comb to loosen it a little bit to make it more comfortable, gently scratching his scalp while he was doing that. His Lao Wen loved little indulgences like that so much and he deserved them even more.

Zhou Zishu laughed. "There has never been a more beautiful one," he confirmed. He put the comb aside at last and resisted the urge to kneel down next to Wen Kexing to worship him like he deserved. He forced it attention back where it needed to be right now. "I'll help you get ready for the wedding." A statement, not a question and Wen Kexing only looked up for a moment before nodding his assent.

"You spoil me, A-Xu. I am more than capable of dressing up by myself but I might forget how to if you tend to my every need like that."

"You deserve it, you terrible menace," was Zhou Zishu's simple answer to that as he took Wen Kexing's hands helped him up as if he really was a frail and frightened girl looking at her wedding night.

As soon as Wen Kexing was standing Zhou Zishu leaned in for a kiss. He took his time in exploring, biting Wen Kexing's lower lip lightly and getting a rather lovely growl for it. So far Wen Kexing had always been the driving force between their couplings but tonight would be his show.

"You're mine," he whispered against the side of Wen Kexing's neck just before sealing his lips over the spot where neck met shoulder.

Wen Kexing's hands were low on his hips, holding him in place, trying to pull him closer, but otherwise he was pliant in Zhou Zishu's hold, let himself be explored, bitten and licked.

"A-Xu." His name had become a moan and Zhou Zishu loved it.

"I'm here," he said quietly while he slowly led his beautiful bride to be towards the bed. "And," he added with a grin, "soon I'll be within you."

"A-Xu!" Wen Kexing's eyes flew open at that, startled at the unfamiliar forwardness. "Don't tease me like that, my poor heart can't take it."

Zhou Zishu snorted. "It's not your heart I'm worried about," he said and slowly let one of his hands wander down until it came to rest very low on Wen Kexing's back. He squeezed carefully and was reassured when there was neither a flinch nor protest.

Instead, his Lao Wen's eyes lit up like fireworks. "A-Xu is very sure of his skills then," he murmured. If he had his fan he would have gently moved it while looking demurely over the edge, Zhou Zishu just knew it. Fucking tease.

"Very," he confirmed drily as he helped Wen Kexing out of the rest of his clothes. "I've had a great teacher over the last few weeks," he added after a moment, getting a startled laugh for his efforts. Wen Kexing hadn't been the first man who'd fucked him but it had been a very long time and he'd shown Zhou Zishu new heights of pleasure, despite the abysmal state of his body.

He only hoped that he could give back the same.

After a moment a hand landed on top of his, just as he was about to divest Wen Kexing of his final layer of fabric.

"This is so unfair! Here I am, almost bare, and you are still fully clothed! Here, let me…" Wen Kexing was quick but still sensual as he helped Zhou Zishu out of his robes, one layer after another. "Here, I'm feeling so much more at ease now." He smiled and put a hand over Zhou Zishu's heart, only one layer away from seeing the battlefield of scars his upper body consisted off.

"Stop," he said as gently as possible and put his own hand over Wen Kexing's.

The fake skin he'd applied over the ragged holes where the nails used to be would hopefully be enough to fool Wen Kexing as long as the fabric stayed on top of them. There was no way to hide the wounds without any coverings - he'd tried to heal them as much as possible but he hadn't much energy to spare these days. So he hadn't done anything about the wounds from the meat hooks - Wen Kexing had seen and tended to those, knew that they were slow healing. He'd just hidden the new damage as best as he could, the one Wen Kexing wasn't allowed to know about just yet.

So he should be able to go through this night without being discovered. He hoped. And afterwards he would tell. Soon. Too soon. After the wedding he would confess, Zhou Zishu had promised himself. He would throw himself at the mercy of his soulmate, secure in the knowledge that he would be caught, held, and taken care of for however many days he had left.

It would be a gentle death. Before, there would be arguments and tears, anger and betrayed silence, no doubt about that, but in the end there would be comfort and love. He didn't want to leave Wen Kexing and Chengling, along with his resurrected sect, but a death like that was still far more than he deserved after the life he'd lived.

"I don't want you distracted by thinking about the future. This is for you, like our first wedding night was for me." His explanation was lame, he knew, but when Wen Kexing looked at him with wide eyes brimming with tears before lowering his head in acquiescence he knew he had won this round.

It felt awful. Like the betrayal it was.

His duty now was to blow his soulmates mind so thoroughly that he was happy again and too fucked out to notice anything untoward. Thankfully, he'd never backed down from a challenge, no matter how daunting, and had experience in redirecting that brilliant and observant mind.

His Lao Wen was far too trusting towards him and Zhou Zishu was a monster for taking and abusing that trust.

The idea of Wen Kexing's clever fingers dancing over the wounds, being gentle in touch while scolding him for being a reckless idiot shouldn't be a turn-on but it was - maybe later, after he'd confessed. Right now the way Wen Kexing accepted his request simply because Zhou Zishu wanted him to was a breathtaking show of unconditional trust.

Wen Kexing was looking at his shoulders, traced the edge of one of the wounds through the cloth. He was clearly unhappy about the damage and was looking intently at Zhou Zishu's face for any sign of pain or discomfort.

He wouldn't find any, Zhou Zishu knew. He could barely feel the gentle touch and the pain had dulled to a point where it could easily be ignored a long time ago.

"Lao Wen," he said firmly to keep Wen Kexing's attention from focusing too much on his chest. "Look at me."

It took him a moment but when he did Zhou Zishu made sure to reward him with a kiss before he pushed off the last of Wen Kexing's garments.

He could look and touch to his heart's content and he intended to do so. Still, for now he was also focusing on his soulmate's beautiful face.

"It's okay," he murmured. "I am okay." It wasn't even a lie, not really, not at this moment. "Now lean back and relax." He pushed and Wen Kexing fell back on the bed with startled sound of surprise.

He would be commanding, he'd decided. Order Wen Kexing around, keep him a little bit off balance, make him feel good and try to shut down that too clever mind of his until he was mindlessly begging for mercy.

"A-Xu!" He was whining and Zhou Zishu hadn't even started. Good. The pitiful sound should not nearly be as attractive as it was.

Wen Kexing. Lunatic Wen. The deranged Master of Ghost Valley. A madman without peer. Beautiful beyond belief. One of the most feared and unpredictable men in the whole word - and here he was, sitting on a bed, naked and hard, braced with his hands behind him, loose braid tangling down his back, looking up with wide eyes, a lovely flush on his cheeks and the sweetest, most devoted expression ever on his face. Willingly surrendering himself to Zhou Zishu mercies without even having to think about it.

All Zhou Zishu could see was the man he loved more than he had ever thought possible.

He used to think that he had power, back then in his assassin days. He could never have dreamed that this was true power. Having one of the most formidable beings alive at his mercy, begging with body and eyes alike, almost reduced to moans and whimpers before even being touched.

Being loved like that and loving back equally as ferociously. That was true power.

The fierce protectiveness, mixed with possessiveness, that arose at the alluring picture wasn't a surprise anymore but it helped push him just that little bit further towards full arousal. Any little sign of Wen Kexing's willing submission tended to do that to him, actually.

He gently cupped Wen Kexing's face with both of his hands as he knelt on the bed and straddled him. "You're shameless," Zhou Zishu murmured fondly and kissed him deeply. "I need to hide you away from the world, Lao Wen, because I can't allow anyone else to see you undone like this." It was a craving he had developed the moment his soulmate's triumphal return from the dead but this was the first time he allowed himself to speak about it.

Wen Kexing bit his lip in retaliation.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, A-Xu, or your Lao Wen will be devastated."

"I'll make it happen," he promised and almost choked on his own hypocrisy. "I'll bring you far away from here, somewhere where you can be yourself without fear."

Oh, how he dreamed of a world where this was a possibility. It seemed almost near enough to grab, yet so far beyond reach.

Wen Kexing looked at him as if he had personally hung the sun into the sky. He reached out with a slightly shaking hand and touched Zhou Zishu's face. "Promise?" he asked so softly that it was barely audible.

Zhou Zishu swallowed hard to keep the threatening tears back. "I promise." Not in this life, but in the next. They would find each other again, he refused to believe anything else. He would keep his soulmate happy and healthy in every other life after having failed so miserably in this one. "But first," he continued and leaned slightly forwards to push his hardness against Wen Kexing's, "let's enjoy this night, okay?"

Wen Kexing laughed out loud and, after only the tiniest of gestures from Zhou Zishu, relaxed against the bed as much as he could in his state of desperate arousal.

"A-Xu," he whined, "don't torture me."

He snorted. "As if you don't like it."

A bright and unashamed grin was Wen Kexing's only answer as he shifted his position slightly. Zhou Zishu barely had to touch his knees before he parted his legs. No hesitation, no fear, Zhou Zishu noted to his relief. It seemed that being able to look at him was truly all Wen Kexing needed to relax.

The show of trust, the sheer amount of power gifted to him with one thoughtless movement, once again blew what was left of his mind.

He made sure that the oil was warm before he touched Wen Kexing. A surprised yelp might have been fun at any other time but right now he wanted nothing more but to spoil him; make him feel good and safe.

"You're in good hands with me, Lao Wen," he promised as he wrapped his oil-slick hand around Wen Kexing's erection. At first he gave only a gentle squeeze, just to test the waters. When he got an impatient eye-roll he tightened his grip until Wen Kexing's eyes closed in pleasure and a moan escaped his iron control.

"Like this, A-Xu, yes!"

So he liked it on the rougher side. Zhou Zishu wasn't surprised, he was the same, really, so it stood to reason that his other half would be the same.

But not too rough, he reminded himself. There had been enough hardship and pain, it had no place here now.

Torturing a lover with pleasure was so much more fun anyway. He only allowed himself a couple of more strokes. There was a disgruntled, needy moan that quickly got bitten off the moment Wen Kexing realized where things were going now.

His eyes flew open again when he was breached by a fingertip. For a moment he tensed up but then he took a deep breath, stared at Zhou Zishu as if he was the only focal point he'd ever need and consciously relaxed his whole body.

"I can take you, A-Xu."

Zhou Zishu gave him the most gentle smile he was capable of. "I know, Lao Wen. And you will. Slowly. This is my show tonight."

One finger was joined by a second and, eventually, a third. By the time Zhou Zishu judged him ready Wen Kexing was a sweaty, moaning mess but his gaze was still fixed on his face.

"Please, A-Xu," he whimpered, "don't be so cruel to your poor wife. I need to…" The rest of his sentence got bitten off in a long groan when Zhou Zishu pulled out his fingers and, just moment later, pushed in with his cock.

"Yes?" he asked sweetly. "What does my poor wife need?" He grinned as he gave the first, careful thrust. Wen Kexing took him beautifully, just like Zhou Zishu had expected him to, and he quickly dissolved into a moaning, begging mess. Training and experience or not - there was no way he was faking anything now.

Unbelievably, he still managed to keep his eyes open and focused on Zhou Zishu's face. "So beautiful," he whispered and Zhou Zishu laughed.

"Likewise," he gave back and caught Wen Kexing's wandering right hand to entwine their fingers. He would not touch himself, all of his pleasure would come from Zhou Zishu tonight. Wen Kexing's grip was almost bruising in its strength and Zhou Zishu squeezed back just as hard. "Mine," he growled as he picked up the pace, allowing himself to let go and setting an almost brutal rhythm.

He wanted to use his free hand to explore more of the gorgeous body spread out beneath him but he needed it to hold his balance. It didn't matter, he seemed to do well enough in the 'blow his mind until he can't think anymore' department, even without resorting to extra caresses.

Wen Kexing looked at him as if he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life, even while being caught up in the throes of his own pleasure. He didn't plead or demand anything, just took everything Zhou Zishu gave him with moans, whimpers and sighs, coupled with that exquisite, wide-eyes look of utter adoration.

Zhou Zishu was half-tempted to order him to only come when he was allowed but in the end he decided against it. He wanted Wen Kexing so overcome by pleasure that he forgot himself, for him to come without being touched and without being ordered to.

When he finally did it was with a hoarse shout of surprise. Zhou Zishu held him down by the hips and watched in helpless fascination, just barely getting to see his open again and searching his face as if he was the rising sun after a moonless night, before his own orgasm hit.

All things considered, it wasn't the most earth-shattering one of his life.

It was the best he'd ever had, even if he collapsed into an exhausted heap the moment it was over, suddenly unable to support himself.

He was caught and lowered down carefully before he could crush Wen Kexing under his weight.

"I've got you, A-Xu," he murmured. His voice and his expression showed clearly that he wasn't surprised by his sudden collapse. "Here, let me…"

He should be the one taking care of Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu thought dimly. Clean him up, make sure that he was okay… but his body had other ideas and his mind wasn't far behind, already drifting away into an exhausted haze.

"Sorry," he whispered as he felt Wen Kexing slip away to get what they needed.

Wen Kexing kissed him the moment he was back, gently coaxing his mouth open and taking time to explore a territory he already knew very well. "Don't you dare," he said eventually, all of that protective fierceness Zhou Zishu loved so much in his voice, and got to work in cleaning up the mess between them.

Afterwards, Wen Kexing gathered him close and held him, carefully passing energy to him. The position was unpractical and inefficient, but neither could be bothered to move into the proper one.

"Don't be afraid," Wen Kexing whispered against his hair. "I won't leave your side, no matter what the heavens throw at us. I'll take care of you and protect you while you can't do so yourself."

The surgery, Zhou Zishu realized dimly and closed his eyes in dismay. Wen Kexing was talking about that bright, impossible future again.

"Lao Wen," he tried but barely had the energy to speak.

"Shh, it's okay. You've been strong for so long, A-Xu, you can rest now. I'm here. You can take over again and whisk me away to that safe place you want me to be in after you've recovered." Wen Kexing kissed away the tears that had escaped despite him trying his best to keep them in. "I can't wait to see what you have planned for us."

Wen Kexing's hope- and wistful words followed him down into the deep, dreamless sleep of utter exhaustion.

I'm sorry, was the last coherent thought he had.


"You've kept your promise," Wen Kexing murmured many months later, weak, hair and skin bleached of any color and barely lucid, hidden away deep inside the Armory and sheltered in the warmth of Zhou Zishu's love and devotion. "You've brought me somewhere safe where nobody but you can see me."

Zhou Zishu tightened his hold. So many possible answers to those words, one more cutting the other, presented themselves. You've brought yourself here, you stupid idiot, by following me like a lost puppy, he wanted to say. Or: At least here you won't be able to steal and spend all of my money, followed by Please fucking stop trying to sacrifice yourself for me, no matter what stupid old immortals tell you to do. He hesitated for a moment and then:

"Yes," he agreed and sent another burst of healing energy through the broken body in his arms. "I did. And now hurry up and heal so that we can have our third wedding night with both of us healthy and fully able to participate, okay?"

Wen Kexing's laugh was weak, and quickly dissolved into an awful cough. "You've kept your promise," he repeated, full of wonder, already drifting off again. "Thank you."

One day he would be the one being held again, Zhou Zishu knew. Probably after an argument about whose turn it was to hold the other. The idea alone was enough to make him smile as he leaned down to steal a kiss.

Hope for a future with his soulmate at his side. What a wonderful thing to have.

Afterword

End Notes

There was this post on tumblr that went something like "describe the thing you're currently working on, but poorly". This was my response:

#dead man walking wants to give his lover a great last night but chokes on his internal angst the whole way through

Rather, accurate, right? I know that I shoved a lot(TM) in here but I justify it with the fact that ZZS thought it was his last chance so he wanted to do all the things, right here and right now.

Also, the last section didn't originally exist. The plan was to end it with the pure angst because we all know how it eventually turns out. But... fluff. I couldn't resist writing some cuddling. It's my favorite thing - lots of tenderness right after tons of angst. I hope nobody minds.

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!